i used to go to a lot of parties. a few years ago i was invited to a birthday party and since i didn't really have anything to do that day i came fairly early. they were still baking the birthday cake and setting up the decorations and the music. i didn't know the birthday girl or her boyfriend super well, or anyone who was there yet, so even in the most social time of my life i was probably the quietest person in the room. i got to talking to this person who saw that i didn't really know anyone there yet and we chatted for a while about i don't remember what. but i thought they were really fucking cool. the way they did their makeup was so cool - they had a swirl done in eyeliner on their face, long falsies, and bright highlight on the tip of their contoured nose. their style was that kind of y2k-influenced, layered, was definitely emo at some point-esque style that i've always admired but don't actually enjoy wearing all too much. they had such a confidence and brightness about them, like they were fully themself, like they did whatever they wanted to - balanced with an immense love and care for both their friends and their community. to this day they've inspired me to be more myself. that interaction was a reminder to make sure everyone in the group feels included and heard and seen and valued, to be so full of love and optimism and joy and to fully embrace and commit to being whatever, whoever you want to be. i wanted to reach out to them to make plans, to hang out sometime after this party. they were so cool and uplifting and inspiring and i wanted to be their friend.
early that next morning they were the victim of a hit-and-run car accident. i learned from my roommate at the time that they were in a coma in critical condition. two weeks later i learned that they were taken off life support and passed. they were nineteen.
i still think about them a lot. the fact that i only knew them for a few hours and yet they had such a massive impact on my life. the even larger impact they had on the lives of all their friends, people who probably for the rest of their lives will continue to celebrate their birthday and put flowers on their grave and make instagram posts of the pictures they had with them while they were alive. how vibrant they were.