back in the 90s my dad purchased the domain name for *our last name*.org for like $5. when i was born he made me a blank website with the domain *deadnamelastname.com* and i grew up with the email *deadnamelastname*.org.
i never felt like a girl and i never related to "womanhood." the most affirming experiences for me were those in which i could be celebrated for my accomplishments As A Person rather than Being Good At Something For A Woman. throughout my childhood i always wanted a different name than the one i had been given. my best friend since middle school still has my contact as "sperry lee" because that's the name i wanted in 5th grade for whatever reason.
i started to realize i was nonbinary in 2020 after taking some silly internet gender alignment quiz where i scored smack-dab in the middle of the androgynous vector. that combined with a coworker clocking me as Not Cisgender was the beginning of my egg cracking, but this process was pretty slow. i changed my name in 2021. before then i went by the intial of my deadname since it was fairly androgynous and i didn't know what name i wanted. even though i'm transmasc i chose a more "feminine" name because a) my mom almost named me that name and b) it kind of just fit me at the time. i think about changing it again every now and then but there's still such a euphoria in that essentially no one in my day-to-day life calls me by, let alone knows, my birth name.
i was outed to my parents in a few different slightly traumatic ways as both lesbian and nonbinary and having changed my name (although to this day my parents don't give a fuck about me being nonbinary and have never once used my pronouns and still think i'm a girl even though i've told them countless times that i'm simply Not) and my dad yelled at me. he was furious, which was exactly how i expected him to react. my parents have always seemed entitled regarding my personal decisions As An Adult with so many things that simply Don't Affect Them but i guess that's what happens when you try to raise a Good Christian Girl and they turn out to be some queer degenerate who doesn't believe in god and doesn't have it in them to pretend anymore.
not long after coming out, my mom decided to start going by her middle name rather than her first, and immediately my dad made a *chosenname*@*lastname*.org email address for her.